The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom.
[Isaac Asimov]

If it squirms, it’s biology; if it stinks, it’s chemistry; if it doesn’t work, it’s physics; and if you can’t understand it, it’s mathematics.
[Magnus Pyke]

An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty; and the engineer will tell you the glass is twice the size it needs to be [Anonymous] I have a quantum car. Every time I look at the speedometer I get lost.
[Steven Wright]
The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity.
[Harlan Ellison]

It is the tension between creativity and skepticism that has produced the stunning and unexpected findings of science.
[Carl Sagan]

Astronomers say the universe is finite, which is a comforting thought for those people who cant remember where they leave things.
[Woody Allen]

Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life.
[Immanuel Kant]

If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut.
[Albert Einstein]

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
[Albert Einstein]

Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts.
[Albert Einstein]

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
[Albert Einstein]

The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
[Albert Einstein]

We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.
[Albert Einstein]

Imagination is more important than knowledge.
[Albert Einstein]

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
[Albert Einstein]

Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing.
[Albert Einstein]

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, ut World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
[Albert Einstein]

The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
[Albert Einstein]

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
[Albert Einstein]

I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.
[Albert Einstein]

DIATOMIC MOLECULES ARE PECULIAR BECAUSE THEY ONLY HAVE TWO ENDS, AND THESE ENDS ARE VERY CLOSE TOGETHER.

KLAUS RUEDENBERG, REV.MOD.PHYS. PG 176, 32, (1960)

EVANS BOLDLY PUT 50 ATM. OF ETHYLENE IN A CELL WITH 25 ATM. OF OXYGEN. THE APPARATUS SUBSEQUENTLY BLEW UP, BUT LUCKILY NOT BEFORE HE OBTAINED THE SPECTRA SHOWN IN FIGURE 8.

A.J.MERER AND R.S.MULLIKEN, CHEM.REV. 69, 645 (1969)

There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
- Unknown

If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0
- T-Shirt

Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips."
- Unknown

I'm not anti-social; I'm just not user friendly
- T-Shirt

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
- Unknown

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code
- Unknown

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
- Unknown

The box said 'Requires Windows 95 or better'. So I installed LINUX.
- Unknown

People say that if you play Microsoft CD's backwards, you hear satanic things, but that's nothing, because if you play them forwards, they install Windows.
- Unknown

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
- Unknown

In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
- unknown

The speed of sound is defined by the distance from door to computer divided by the time interval needed to close the media player and pull up your pants when your mom shouts "OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!"
- Unknown

Failure is not an option -- it comes bundled with Windows.
- Unknown

Passwords are like underwear. You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them. You should change them regularly. And you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.
- Unknown

MICROSOFT = Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
- Unknown

Use The Best…
Linux for Servers
Mac for Graphics
Palm for Mobility
Windows for Solitaire
- T-Shirt

JUST SHUT UP AND REBOOT!!
- T-Shirt

Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.
- Unknown

A Life? Cool! Where can I download one of those?
- Unknown

Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue…
- Unknown

Software is like sex: It's better when it's free.
- Unknown

UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
- Dennis Ritchie

A thousand words are worth a picture, and they load a heck of a lot faster.
- Unknown

"Concept: On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape button."
- Unknown

How do I set a laser printer to stun?
- Unknown

Better to be a geek than an idiot.
- Unknown

Who needs the library? I've got google!
- Jackson Gallagher

Unix, DOS and Windows…the good, the bad and the ugly.
- Unknown

Windows XP -now comes with free anger management courses.
- Unknown

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my disk?
- Unknown

Alcohol & calculus don't mix. Never drink & derive.
- Unknown

Who needs friends? My PC is user friendly.
- Unknown

I don't care if the software I run is unstable crap, as long as it is the LATEST unstable crap.
- Lennart A. Hansen

Well It looks like an ID10T Error
- IT Support Tech-guy

Alert! User Error. Please replace user and press any key to continue.
- Unknown

ACs are like computers- Both work fine until you open Windows!
- Unknown

"Hey, it compiles! Ship it!"
- Unknown

It is fruitless to become lachrymose because of scattered lacteal fluid!!! (don't cry over spilled milk!)
- Unknown

A community is not a community of disembodied spoken statements, in part because the most important aspect of the communication that people have is emotional, and one often communicates emotion not in terms of the text but as a subtext. The physical body is not irrelevant to a human community. The emotional subtext of human communication is crucial to human thought. It isn't a footnote. Too many computer scientists don't understand this.
- David Gelernter

"One of the most frightening things about your true nerd, for many people, is not that he's socially inept - because everybody's been there - but rather his complete lack of embarrassment about it."
- Neal Stephenson, from the novel Cryptonomicon

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
- Unknown

Nerd-a person lacking a life and completely consumed with education.
Geek-the same as a nerd, but take out education and insert "computers".
Average person-Nerd, but take out "and completely consumed with education".
- Unknown

Mottos:
Windows-"We crash better than anyone else on the market. Frustration guaranteed."
Linux-"Stable as Mount Everest, but don't play games at my house!"
Mac-"A picture is worth a thousand words-so why care about anything else?"
- Unknown